I have Breast Cancer.
I have said it a thousand times in my head in the last few weeks. I even said it out loud several times in a row one day, just to see if it would make it feel more real. My surgery is still 11 days away. I’m going to have my 46th birthday in 4 days, with this “Cancer” still inside me. I talk about it every day with my partner, co-workers, patients, family and friends and it still feels like I will wake up any moment screaming but relieved to be awake and cancer free.
I was diagnosed with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma on April 27, 2011. That was the first day of my new life with cancer.
About Me
This is my story from the day I was diagnosed forward. Everyone has thei
r own journey, their own story, their own path and this just happens to be mine. If something I write could possibly help someone else then that would make anything I go through worth it all. It’s mostly for me, to help me organize and understand my thoughts, feelings and emotions during this process.
I’m a 46 year old, mother of two grown sons, step-mom to a grown son and grown daughter – now one of three mom’s to little Zoey, grandmother of two little girls and one little boy and partner to my wonderful girlfriend Telle. I live in Chicago and work for a small town, single practitioner doctor’s office. I love my job, really enjoy being in the city and try to enjoy my time here as much as possible. I have a fantastic family, crazy, spread across the USA and the most loving group of people anyone could ever dream of being related to.
I found a lump in my right breast late February after recently freaking out about a lump in my left breast the year before, that turned out to be a simple cyst. I ignored it for a few weeks assuming that once my hormones calmed down that month that it would go away, just like the other cysts had before. When it didn’t go away I finally became concerned and had an ultrasound in our office just to ease my mind. When I heard them say, I’m sorry that isn’t a cyst but actually a mass I felt my stomach shrivel up and my heart sink…but managed to keep a calm attitude and follow through with what would need to be done to get it checked out.
Now I didn’t have insurance as I work for such a small practice and like a whole lot of other people just couldn’t afford insurance on my own. Illinois does have a fantastic program, Illinois Breast and Cervical Cancer Screening for women over 40 that are uninsured or under-insured. I immediately called and set up an appointment to get it checked out.
I had my appointment, got my order for a mammogram and it of course it came back abnormal. An ultrasound guided biopsy was ordered next and my diagnosis came from my boss, physician and friend that my lump was actually malignant. I have since been placed on emergency medicaid (thank goodness for the fantastic program we have here in Illinois for women like me that find themselves in this position). I have met with my Oncologist, Geneticist (because I was under 50, the chances of it being genetic are much higher) and my Surgeon. I have had the unique pleasure of having my physician by my side at my appointments along with my partner giving me the strength I have so needed to go through this with a positive attitude.
I’ve gone through X-rays, blood tests, Mammograms, Ultrasounds, MRI’s, CT’s and PET scans in the last few weeks and now comes the time for treatment. At this point I’m looking at eight rounds of chemotherapy, a double mastectomy and radiation afterward.
Thank you with all my heart to the people, family, friends, and co-workers alike for all your support and love. I will forever be grateful to you all for the positive energy you send my way. I thrive on positivity and you are giving me exactly what I need.
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